Cuddle Buddies

so, like i said in my last post, i've been doing research and reading up on various topics to become a more well-informed person (who knows how long this new gig will last). anyway, spurred by an interest in 'physical intimacy' i went surfing the net.

my initial thoughts on the topic were that physical intimacy 1) consists of touching and kissing and 2) doesn't always have to lead to sex and 3) feels good. what i found on the internet was a whole bunch more.

have you ever heard of Cuddle Parties? Neither had i. but they are parties for non-sexual touching. it's not a front to hold orgies. there are rules. they include: no sex, no touching under pajamas which must stay on for all 3 hours of the cuddle-fest, no alcohol and no drugs. i buy into the whole concept of adults being afraid of touch because we were told/taught that all touch leads to sex and/or that we cannot control our urges and therefore touch between people should be avoided. this and other touch questions, like "Why cuddle if you're not going to have sex? It's not normal." are discussed on their FAQ page which was more than enlightening. [Source.] read it and tell me what you think.

i also learned that Harlow's primate experiments conducted in the 60s and 70s showed that, "At least with infant and young monkeys, there appeared to be a hunger more powerful than the craving for food. It was science's first view of the pervasiveness and intensity of 'touch hunger'." [Source.] These baby monkeys - deprived of their mothers - were choosing to stay with the soft terrycloth covered monkey-like statue rather than the non-terrycloth covered monkey-like statue holding the bottle with food, even when they became hungry. Their hunger for touch was stronger than their hunger for food!

i also learned that physical intimacy may not include touch at all. "It is possible to be physically intimate with someone without actually touching him or her; however, a certain proximity is necessary. For instance, proximity and sustained eye contact is a form of physical intimacy." [Source.] the same source mentions the Roman Catholic mass proceedings encouraging the congregation to affectionately touch each other during the Rite of Peace. "In most Western churches, this involves a handshake and the words 'Peace be with you.' If the other party is someone known to you, a hug may be substituted. Spouses tend to hug and/or kiss each other first before using the traditional handshake and 'Peace be with you' for the other surrounding members of the congregation." boy does that take me down memory lane.

there's more to learn about physical intimacy like Frotteurism and oxytocin and the Free Hug Campaign (started in Sydney in 2004 and has already reached the busy shopping streets of myeongdong in seoul, korea where touching between two people of opposite gender in public is considered socially improper.) but i must stop somewhere - it's time to sleep