Okay, so I've read the employment contract of a job I'm pursuing and after reading all the rules and regulations (essentially) I hardly know why I'm interested in this job. But it's right in the heart of Seoul (as I'm sure many more jobs are, as are many more employment contracts) and it's in an affluent district, and ... oh, have I said why I'm doing this ... it will put me smack dab in the middle of a totally foreign country. Yes, I want to experience what it is like to live in another country; to be the foreigner, the minority. I'm turning 30 and I've just got to "get-it-going-on". I'm presently super-happy with my job situation: walking dogs and working in a baby boutique in Occoquan but something stirs inside, that has nothing to do with work. In fact, as long as I'm paying my bills then I would probably being doing exactly what I'm doing now for the rest of my life. But it's that stirring something else that I'm giving attention. And I wonder what it's about? Maybe it's a result of having lived in the same place my whole life. Maybe this excursion is a way I can give myself the ultimate life challenge. Can I do it? Can I handle it? Can this make me a better person? ... So that's it: I'm not fully satisfied with myself. I'm on a quest for ultimate self-acceptance, which comes with confidence, which comes with tackling life challenges. I don't feel that I've completely found myself yet; which I imagine feeling like total and complete satisfaction with one's self and life; like standing in one place and feeling grounded, not in the physical sense but in the emotional sense. So I've got to stir things up a bit and create me some life challenges. ;-)
In a few months my life will change dramatically and I too will change. It will be me but I will still change. Even if I fail at the attempt I will still change and be better for it. Of course I'll be back for this is my home and always will be ... besides, I'm not searching for my home, I'm searching for me. I have a home but I do not have me.
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