churchgoing

last weekend i went to church with a friend of mine; it was english service at a non-specific christian church (http://www.onnurienglish.org/) located nearby. then i journaled about it. here's what i said:

~~~

today’s sermon was about praising Him and surrendering to His plan and thanking Him for what we have, even if we have nothing or something we don't want.

Why were my eyes tearing up, just like the last (and only other) time I attended English service church? Why was I having an emotional reaction to being there, singing there, joining with others there, listening to the pastor and connecting with the moment.

Nostalgia.

I immediately became nostalgic.

I could hear the grown man behind me singing proudly, devotedly ... and it reminded me of my dad and how he always sings in church.

I could see the boy in the seat in front on me resting his head on his mom’s lap ... and it reminded me of my mom and how she let me nap in her lap at church as a youngster.

I could see the family of four a couple rows ahead of mine, the group flanked by mom on one end, dad on the other, son and daughter in between ... and it reminded me of my mom, my dad and my sister getting to church early and picking out the best pew for our family.

Praise Him.

Surrender to Him.

Thank Him.

I felt a desire to give praise, surrender, and thanks but not to a "Him"; i have no connected feeling to a deity or some supreme being. i was quite moved by the service and i desired to:

-praise my parents for creating a family tradition, a ritual of going to church with the family, keeping the unit together.

-surrender to the idea that attending church service – something I stopped doing regularly after going to college – has a worthy purpose.

-be thankful (to my grandparents) for my parents, (to my parents) for my life, (to my grandparents and my parents) for my family.

our reading, out of the book of Exodus, was about the Israelites leaving Egypt but today's church service was about my going back to memories that have been tucked away for time's passing, to be drawn forth and appreciated anew.

they are tears of nostalgia.