the discovery continues

so, i'm not done reading/learning about infatuation. i'm not sure i've ever been infatuated before ... or, if i have, i never realized it so that is why my curiosity is so strong. here's some more stuff i wanted to collect and capture on the topic of infatuation for future reference. and just like i normally do, i've made bold the lines that were of particular significance to me.

from an article titled, How to Know if You Love Her found on ehow.com

Distinguish between love and lust or infatuation. Lust is an intense sexual desire. Infatuation refers to the initial stage of a relationship, when you are "crazy" about her, but this feeling usually fades over time.

The infatuation phase of a relationship typically lasts about six months. You may think you are in love and she is perfect for you. It often takes more time to tell if you are truly compatible and whether you can really love the whole person, good and bad.

from an article titled from The Rush to the Altar found on about.com

During the infatuation phase of a relationship, dopamine and norepinephrine are triggered in people's brains. They get butterflies in their stomach, they don't sleep well, they daydream more, and their appetite fluctuates from day to day. (perhaps the reason my weight has hit an all time low: 57.4 kg / 126.5 lbs) They are literally on a chemical high. This is when the old saying about love being blind rings true. Belief in the fairy tale myth of living happily ever after is high.

from a blog post titled IDC: Infatuation, Disillusionment, and Contentment found on wiki.laptop.org

The Infatuation, Disillusionment, and Contentment (IDC) relationship model describes the progress of romantic relationships ...

The IDC model suggests that a romantic relationship proceed through three phases:

1. Infatuation: A period characterized by extremely high emotional intensity.
2. Disillusionment: A period of bickering, irritation, and sometimes unfathomable sadness (ahaaaaaaaaaaaa!).
3. Contentment: An extended period of increasing happiness.

Successful relationships proceed from infatuation to disillusionment to contentment while unsuccessful relationships end during the disillusionment stage. People between the ages of 21 and 60 have found the IDC framework helpful in understanding their relationships.

from an article titled Can't Help Falling in Love written in 2002 by a student at Bryn Mawr College, Nicole Pietras, found on serendip.brynmawr.edu (see link for her citations)

What is Love Psychologically Speaking?:

Most people experience at least once in their lifetime, most people experience "love" more than that, but it is not true love it's more being in love with being in love. However, "the emotion of love is essential for bonding between individuals." (2) This bond of love allows for humans to reproduce which leads to the continuation of the species. Love also allows for companionship, which gives a person gratification and a feeling of purpose in life, because they have other people to take care of, who has a special meaning to the other person. Along with love come some behavioral responses to this emotion. " 'Early love is when you love the way the other person makes you feel... mature love is when you love the person as he or she is.' It is the difference between passionate and compassionate love." (i love this; it restores hope in me) (7) Most people when they first fall in love, feel great passion for the other person, as well as feeling playful, giddy, and are preoccupied with thoughts of the one they love. (3), (7) Love is a very selfish emotion, because all of the feelings one feels when they are in love are self-gratifying. "Along with the exhilaration of infatuation and the warm, cozy comfort of attachment, love creates and reinforces the self. People's sense of who they are is strongly affected by whom they love and whom they perceive as loving them." (3) When people are in mature, compassionate love, they feel that they must protect the one they love and will do anything for the one they love, which makes "the lover obtain a strong sense of gratification and identity" (3) as well as making self-sacrifices give them a sense of a reward. When a person is in mature love, intimacy, passion and commitment are all present, which gives the person a feeling of feeling one with the person they are in love with. However, love is not only makes psychological responses occur, but biological responses occur also.

Is Love an Addiction?: Biologically Speaking:

The feeling of love begins with an infatuation phase and then turns into the attachment phase when the two people become more involved with each other. (3) In the infatuation phase, a person feels exhilaration when they see the person, an intense passion for the person and a yearning to see their lover. (3) "The euphoria or elation that accompanies infatuation can cause lovers to crave 'staying in love'." (3) Along with a heightened nervous system, there are hormones that are released.

One of these hormones is dopamine, which is also a hormone that is involved with addictive behavior. (3) When a person feels in love, they are activating their pleasure centers in the brain, which are rich in dopamine and blood flow is elevated. (8) Since dopamine is the hormone that makes a person feel an "erotic high" when they see their lover, (5) eventually the person will become addicted to feeling that "erotic high" and when it is taken away, they will go through withdrawal. (i'm certain this is what caused me to have such desperately sad moments when i was without the "fix") Dopamine also causes a person's heart to race; pupils to dilate and a slight perspire. (4) Since dopamine is a natural endorphin, which acts like heroin or morphine when someone takes those drugs, it causes the body to respond by relaxing the body and kills pain in high doses but in low doses it cause the body to feel unpleasant, which could be related to the depressed feeling when someone falls out of love or loses a lover. (6) (7) Also, when there is a continue presence of a lover, there is a gradual increase of dopamine, which also cause the horrible feeling when we lose a lover. (7)

Dopamine is also related to obsessive-compulsive disorder, which makes love biochemically similar to obsessive-compulsive disorder. (4) When people have obsessive-compulsive disorder, there is an increased blood flow, which leads to abnormal amounts of platelet cells, which is also present when someone is in love. (4)

Another hormone involved with the feelings of love is phenylethylamine (PEA), which is also a natural endorphin that affects mood and attachment. "One study of 33 people who were 'happily attached and feeling great' found that all had increased PEA levels." (3) Researchers have also found that high levels of PEA increases sex drive and is believed that this might be the hormone of libido. (4) The body also becomes tolerant of PEA like dopamine once the body has been exposed to it for long periods of time. (3)(7)

The last hormone involved with love is oxytocin, which is also an endorphin and has an opiate-like effect. (5) "Oxytocin is another chemical that has recently been implicated in love. Produced by the brain, it sensitizes nerves and stimulates muscle contraction. Scientists speculate that oxytocin might encourage cuddling between adult women and men." (my new match.com tag line: must produce oxytocin) (7) Since oxytocin acts as a natural tranquilizer, it allows for a woman to become more sensitive to other's feelings when present. (6) Oxytocin is released during sexual experiences as well as when lovers touch, because it activates cell-surface proteins in the nucleus accumbens, in the brain, which causes the release of dopamine. (3) So with this release of dopamine, the person feels a euphoric high.