the other day brittany and i moved all the furniture out of the way in the living room, opened the curtains and used the big windows as mirrors (it was dark outside) and we DANCED and DANCED and DANCED to early 90s hip hop music (MC Hammer, Vanilla Ice, Ton Loc, the guy that did “baby got back”). she taught me a dance routine that she did for the 3rd grade talent show. we had a great time and got all sweaty and danced like it was our job (to use her expression)
the new (well returning) house mate came back the other day and my second impression: she's socially awkward. the first time i met her was back in August before i moved in. i had an interview with her and the others living in the house at the time. she seemed easy enough to get along with. then she left korea to go back to Canada for something for four months and now she's back. she's a little strange and kinda reminds me of me before i started my journey. i have come such a long way from where i felt i was, compared to where i wanted to be and i feel so good about my accomplishments in dealing with life issues and interpersonal relationships and getting to know my needs better and setting healthy boundaries and living my dreams and going for what i want regardless of fear.....
i know that when i came into this shared housing situation and started living with strangers - something i haven't done since college, 10 years ago - that i needed an adjustment period. she needs time too. she's come back to a house that was her home for four years but now is home to 3 other house mates who she knew for not more than 2 months prior to her leaving. the 3 of us have bonded in the four months that she's been in Canada and that is probably a bit intimidating to "come home to". this house is her only friend until she is accepted in the group and so it would stand to reason that she clings to the house and refers to it as, "my house" in front of us.
patience is an appropriate way of responding to her strangeness ... for now. and perhaps some support to help her get re-settled would make her feel more welcomed and comfortable.
2 comments:
"she's a little strange and kinda reminds me of me before i started my journey" Does this mean that when you look at the self that was you before you started your journey, you see someone who is a little strange? Hmmmmmm. In what way?
i was (and still can be) socially awkward. though it may not have been noticeable, inside i was writhing with discomfort in almost all social and inter personal relationships (with strangers, acquaintances, friends and family) before i started my journey ~ i lacked a strong sense of self, carried the fear of disappointing others and lacked confidence to stand up for my needs and wants. most of the time i coped by giving the appearance that nothing bothered me.
i think in psychology the phrase is: living your authentic self
good 'ole dr. phil says, "The authentic self is the you that can be found at your absolute core. It is the part of you not defined by your job, function or role. It is the composite of all your skills, talents and wisdom. It is all of the things that are uniquely yours and need expression, rather than what you believe you are supposed to be and do."
it's those self-defined and self-imposed "supposed to be and supposed do" messages that i have found a better way of managing while on my journey.
My journey is about gaining self-confidence and self-awareness to make me a better person for myself, for my relationships and for my connection to the world
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