status anxeity

so i watched this documentary called Status Anxiety by Alain de Botton (based on his book by the same name) where he explores the idea that despite our increased wealth and belongings as compared to our ancient ancestors, we are no happier or satisfied with our lives. he discusses symbols of status, the pursuit of status, expectations, other's perception of us, satisfaction and quality of life.

several points highlighted in the documentary were of particular interest to me. below are only a few:

(1)
~~~
Being a bohemian isn’t about having a certain kind of job, income or even house. It’s about a way of looking at the world. In the words of the children’s writer, Arthur Ransome, Bohemia isn’t a place it’s a state of mind. And what the state of mind boils down to is a spirit of independence and freedom, a commitment to live by your own values. The bohemian movement’s enduring contribution has been to stand up for an alternative way of life. Bohemia stood up for a spiritual way as opposed to a material way of evaluating ourselves and others.
~~~

Bohemian is a word which, previously, mattered very little to me. i had heard of it but never knew its meaning. (sure i remember Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody on Wayne's World but that didn't mean much ~ one can sing a song about something one knows nothing about and carry on with life just the same.) i felt it was one of those english words i could ignore because i felt it was a word no one uses. however, i think i've found a spot in my lexicon for this word. i think i've got a bit of bohemian in me.

i would like to live as a person who disregards conventional standards of behavior; someone who doesn't follow the masses; someone who doesn't take cues from mainstream media; someone who measures her success and happiness and wealth not by collecting material objects and comparing herself to others but by collecting meaningful personal connections and comparing her actions and achievements to her own set of morals, goals and desires constructed from within.

but how bohemian am i? slightly. other's impression of my character still counts and that seems very non-bohemian-like.

(2)
~~~
Marcus Aurelius stood in a long philosophical tradition of writing about status; one dating back to the ancient Greek 600 years before him. And the enduring legacy of that tradition has been to insist that what you are worth has very little to do with what other people think of you. Marcus Aurelius wrote in his great work of philosophy the Meditations whilst he was battling against bloodthirsty Germanic hordes on the furthest frontiers of his empire.

As an emperor his behavior would have been endlessly examined, praised by some, criticized by others. But he was aware of how untrustworthy it all was. He wrote his Meditations to remind himself to submit any views he heard about his character and achievements to his own reason before allowing them to affect his estimation of himself.

"My decency does not depend on the testimony of someone else. Will any man despise me? Let him see to it. But I will see to it that I may not be found doing or saying anything which deserves to be despised."
~~~

the Marcus Aurelius snippet from the documentary was posted on YouTube.

ahh, these great philosophers speak of virtues (if you can call achieving a sense of self-worth irrespective of other's views, a virtue) with such clarity, ease and fluidity as though attaining the virtues could be a simple matter of following their philosophy. but several hundred years later, it's still a common struggle whose existence is being highlighted in a documentary (and in this blog post).

it feels good to be complimented. it feels bad to be critiqued. i am not defined by that compliment just as i am not defined by that critique. i have looked outward to see how i am reflected back by the others around me to know who i am: good or bad. removing myself from observations made by others of my character or actions is a skill that takes lots of practice and centering ... i wonder just how easy it was or wasn't for Marcus Aurelius.


Status Anxiety looks into many topics that are of interest to me and though the documentary is rather long, it's thorough in its reach to all components that play a part in society's status anxiety. I recommend it.