#1: Nuts, #2: People

It must be a full moon because the freaks are out tonight.

on my way home on the subway tonight from a remote part of Seoul (think: empty subway car until the train gets closer to the city) i was approached by a drunk, alcoholic-stinckin man that sat down _right_next_to_me blabbering on in loud drunken korean at me while i sat there stunned, eyes still planted on the book i was reading. this was enough to send up red flags in my weirdo-dar. i quickly and quietly bookmarked my page, closed my book, grabbed my purse and bag and coat and got up and calmly moved to another empty row of seats (within the same subway car) and reopened my book and began reading. no sooner had i found the place on the page that I had left off did he get up from that seat and come stammering over to me, hollering to me in now very broken english: "ahhhhh .... qumee (excuse me) .... ahhhhh .... englishee (English) .... ahhhh ..." to this i looked up and gave him a few 'yeah, yeah, i understand, now go away' nods but wait, what's that i see happening out of the corner of my eye? the girlfriend and boyfriend who were sitting nearby and were just moments before intensely watching this guy bother me, got up and went the opposite direction and through the connector doors, into the other subway car. thanks a lot. thanks for your help. way to lend a helping hand. now i'm nearly all alone with this freak save the few other riders in the car ... who were sound asleep, by the way! this worried me. i decided a more aggressive action was necessary.

me: "ca geseyo!" (which means 'go' in polite form)
him: "hum?"
me (louder): "ca geseyo!!"
him: "um" and then he grumpily went and sat down the next row over

thankfully that was the end of that. but my mind wandered on and conjured up all sorts of what-if scenarios to which i pondered the best survival solutions. some of those solutions include: 1. following the boyfriend and girlfriend into the other car, 2. getting off at next station and hoping that he doesn't get off as well, 3. going to the front of the train and banging on the conductor's door, 4. .... well that's as far as i got with my solutions.

eventually i would get off and transfer to another subway train only to pick a seat next to a bunch of drunk korean men that insisted on starring shamelessly at me while hollering out, "HI!!!!! HI!!!!!!! HI!!!!!" hands waving in the air.

jesus, when will this trip be over?

then, as i am walking home i pass a parked car with the window down. isn't it too cold to have the window down at night for a parked car?, i asked myself. and as i pass the driver's side door i glance in and sure enough, a man enjoying himself. not more than a block from the last place i encountered another man doing the same thing. this time, different car, so presumably, different man. god, what is up with this neighborhood and all the public masturbation?

well of course this makes good storytelling and matt gets and earful of it when i get home. he has 2 things to say (that i remember reverently):
about the drunk man that approached me ...
1. kick him in the nuts*
2. go to where there are more people

matt's survival mentality is stuck in over-drive. he is never without wise words and strategic advice for ensuring long life. he is a great friend.

the weekly trip from Deokso is always a long one.

*btw, i remember my dad giving me this same advice years ago.