next time

Recently, my personal time has increased multi-fold and it's like being reunited with my imaginary best friend; my friend who loves to do all the things that I love to do and listens to me think. I’m having a great time. Today we planted seeds, soaked my feet, clipped my toenails, went to church, did Kristin McGee’s Power Yoga, made a salad and salad dressing, watched some Fringe, vacuumed, bought some gifts for family in Insa-dong and wrote this blog post. And again I remember how much I love to take care of myself, just myself; and how much I love to keep house, my house; and how much I love to fill a day with whims, my whims. Not having another to look after is an incredible burden lifted from my shoulders … or perhaps it’s not having that particular ‘another’ to look after which is so liberating. I tried very hard, for reasons I’m not yet entirely sure, to make a successful relationship with someone who, in the end, wasn’t the best match for me, nor was I for him. My inside voice, telling me on day 2 that something was not quite right, was saying the same thing, only louder on day 152. If I learned anything from the last 5 months it is to listen to that inside voice. And now, again, I’m back to me. Holding the thought that one day the right match will happen, when I can be with someone whom I believe in, respect, and admire; someone who wants to love me in the same way.